[All the characters and thoughts expressed in this article are purely fictional and bear no resemblance to any person living or dead…..This has been written in good humour and the reader is asked to read it that way.]
Man, when people close to you begin their journey of the never ending “LOVE”, it is such a pain! All they can ever talk about is the OTHER person [let’s call`em something more colourful, how about Humpty Dumpty, HD for short], their moments together, their fights and their… [The list is bottomless]You are called up to be told about how their date went or what they fought about and for the*extremely*important reason of reassuring them. This, for people like me [who am I to talk about others?], anyway, for even someone like me who is a self confessed ‘die hard romantic, lover of chic-flick n mush’ does get a little [strike that off] absolutely overwhelming at times. Picture this, bazillion people galloping towards you from every direction imaginable at the exact time to tell you the same thing, that is the feeling I get sometimes and all I want to do is scream my head off and tell them that there is more to life than ‘LOVE’ [I, for one have no idea about what it is or how it feels like, but the definition according to my friends nearly changes everyday]. I get it that HD has suddenly fallen on earth from his planet and has become extremely and super duperly *important* to you [OMG! HD looks sooooo cute when he smiles….the squealing makes me want to throw up! And that is only the beginning] but that does not mean that the entire 1440 minutes of the day be spent on talking, thinking, gushing over HD [[how can you do it for so long???? ever heard of getting bored???? guess not, my bad].
Now, the last 12 months have taught me a lot [they really have, so much that I can write my thesis on *LOVE*] in this regard. Friends I’ve known for a long time It has to be made CLEAR that we [friends and I, me, myself] spent hours making our conversations insane with a mission, talked about boys [it never was out n out about `em though], clothes and our plans to conquer the world and who would be THE NEXT SUPREME RULER, have a whale of a time mimicking teachers or just sitting in a comfortable silence … have become…
1. “HD is the *most *important person in my life”, who, without, and I mean WITHOUT my permission becomes the most *important*person in my life too [cue my sigh] and does it matter if I dislike/tolerate/despise/loathe/hate HD`s existence???? Um… I don’t think it does…..
2. “I can’t really concentrate on anything”, me thinks your concentration is a lost cause because you can’t have a convo that does not involve thinking, talking, giggling about anything other than our very special HD for more than 2 mins, tops!
3. Every convo of ours has to “begin and end” with “THE HONOURABLE UNO” [THU, pun very much intended and name changed because I couldn’t resist it!]
4.Every time we go out, which of course doesn’t happen very often because everyone’s spread out, HD darling has to message or call once every 20 mins[and that’s a record! Cue applause everybody!!!] And it has to happen every freakin’ time we meet [which is for about 2-3 hrs] and that it is killin me [and not softly, amazing song that one is!]
5. And this has to be the *most* cruel [est] thing that happens to the likes of you and me, WE GET DITCHED and it happens over and over and over again and they have no qualms about it[Bloody Hell! swearing like a pirate does help a little, ah, JOHNNY DEPP and ORLANDO BLOOM, ahem, separate tangent… sorry]It’s the HD lovers who call us up and plan on meeting[[no prizes for guessing what or rather who we end up talking about though!] and then out of the blue, they ask you to leave or they leave to meet…. surprise, surprise HD[it has happened so many times, I’ve lost count …] and the truth is, IT FU****G HURTS!
It might seem like a major right angle shift from my aforementioned personality[the mushy side and all that jazz]but I guess all this has made me cynical about what “LOVE” really ought to be…and for all I care all the HDs can go to HELL and burn really bad![cue -evil laugh-mogambo types!!!]
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